(to) My Dearest Wife:

I feel the worms nibbling at my toes!
time is passing for all around
but not for me
I'm stuck

I've stopped everything in my little bubble
I don't live; I merely exist
relentless cycles of waking, eating, sleeping
without you

I dreamt a lifetime of happiness
noisy babies, laughing children
morning smiles and kisses, lying
beside you

but it was not to be, instead
I search the world
like an ancient mariner - sleepless
looking for the impossible

I have not seen you for years
At least-  I thought it was you
I was so happy; I thought I found you,
I thought I saw you, but when I looked again- you were gone!

Did I ask too much? For Truth?
For Love? For friendship? For loyalty?
Simple things
too rare.

I would have given you everything
my every waking moment
my last penny
my last drop of blood, my life

I would better have been born a hundred
or a  thousand years
before or hence
far away from here and now

Would I have seen you then?
Would you know me? Would the
Fates have mingled our life-strings
or cruelly snipped them without our ever meeting?

Am I going mad? I think so..
I cannot remember what you looked like
But your face changes in my failing memories
as if you never existed - did you? Do I?

Where will you be?
Who will you be?
Where will I find you?
Or will you find me? Please!?

Before it's too late- or I'll die alone.
I need only to know you for one day,
My dearest wife, then I can go.
I feel the worms nibbling at my toes.

{picture is: apolgies to  Klimt - Fulfilment - modified with Gimpshop program,
artistic/softglow filter. try this program please! it's a Photoshop interface cloned
version of The Gimp for Linux, OS-X, Windows, Solaris etc
- links to all versions here: here http://plasticbugs.com/index.php?p=241
Windows w2k/xp  executable here:http://www.plasticbugs.com/blogimg/GIMPshop_0.1beta_Setup.exe
OS-X here: http://www.plasticbugs.com/blogimg/GIMPshop-OSX-version2b.dmg.tbz
for OS-X you'll need Apple's X-11 here: http://www.apple.com/macosx/features/x11/download/
Developer's Source tar: http://www.plasticbugs.com/blogimg/GIMPshop-source-2.2.4.tbz
Linux files: http://freshmeat.net/projects/gimpshop/?branch_id=57360&release_id=192296
Linux RPMtorrent http://freshmeat.net/redir/gimpshop/57360/url_rpm/gimpshop.rpm.torrent}